This morning, as I sipped my coffee and scrolled through my usual reads, I came across a quote by Pope Francis that stopped me in my tracks:"The perfect family doesn’t exist, nor is there a perfect husband or a perfect wife, and let’s not talk about the perfect mother-in-law. It’s just us sinners. A healthy family life requires frequent use of three phrases: ‘May I?’ ‘Thank you,’ and ‘I’m sorry.’”
Isn’t that the truth?
We live in a world that constantly pressures us to strive for perfection—perfect parenting, perfect relationships, a picture-perfect home. Social media doesn’t help, with its curated snapshots that make it seem like everyone else has it all figured out.
But real family life is rarely tidy or polished.
It’s messy. It’s noisy. It’s full of missed cues, misunderstandings, and moments where we fall short. And that’s okay.
Because what matters most isn’t getting it all right—it’s showing up with love and trying again. Over and over.
Those three phrases Pope Francis mentioned—“May I?”, “Thank you,” and “I’m sorry”—sound simple, but they carry immense power.
- “May I?” shows respect. It softens assumptions and invites connection. Even those we live with deserve to be asked, not expected.
- “Thank you.” Spoken appreciation has the power to transform even the hardest moments. Gratitude builds bridges where criticism burns them.
- “I’m sorry.” The hardest and most healing words. Not about shame, but about humility. It open the door to repair and say, “I care. I want to do better.”
A family rooted in these small acts of love is not a perfect family—but it’s a conscious one. A connected one. A healing one.
Let’s be honest—it’s not always easy to live this way.
Especially when you’re carrying trauma—your own, or the kind passed down silently through generations. Especially when you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, overworked, and running on fumes.
When your nervous system is shot, when your boundaries are leaky, when your emotional tank is on empty… being kind or gracious can feel like one more impossible task.
I know that feeling well. I’ve lived it—until I was pushed by the universe to make radical changes. My wake-up call was hard, and I had three options: keep doing what I was doing and live in misery, die, or make radical changes, rise like a phoenix, and restore my health and joy.
I stopped waiting for the people around me to change or behave better—I chose radical responsibility for my own healing.
Holistic self-care became my turning point. And not just the pretty, Instagrammable kind. I’m talking about soul-deep care:
- Setting boundaries—and holding them.
- Tending to my body with rest, nourishment, and movement that feels good.
- Clearing my mind of clutter, comparison, and chaos.
- Facing the hard stuff—healing childhood wounds, unlearning toxic patterns, and releasing ancestral burdens that were never mine to carry.
It wasn’t about becoming perfect.
It was about becoming present—grounded, aware, and clear enough to show up.
Not as a flawless version of myself, but as a real one.
The more I healed, the more I could pause before reacting.
The more I could offer grace instead of judgment.
The more I could say “thank you” and mean it.
The more I could say “I’m sorry” without shame.
One thing I want you to remember: who you are today was shaped by the choices and beliefs you’ve carried from the past.
But who you become tomorrow starts right now—with what you choose in this moment, in this breath, in this cup of coffee.
You create your life. This is your power—and you have the freedom to choose every time you make a decision.
You don’t have to fix everything overnight. You don’t have to be the perfect parent, partner, or person. You just have to begin—with one intentional act of care, for yourself and for the people you love.
So take a deep breath. Offer yourself grace. Sip your coffee slowly. And remember:
You don’t need to be perfect to be deeply, powerfully loving.
You just need to keep showing up.
You just need to keep showing up.
Have you ever felt the pressure to “get it all right”?
What helps you stay grounded and real in your relationships?
I’d love to hear—share your thoughts in the comments.
Xoxo
Urszula
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