When I first heard someone say to me, “You need to regulate your nervous system,” my eyes widened. I thought—what the heck does that even mean?
Lately, I hear the phrase everywhere. And as someone who researches everything by nature, I dove in. I read, listened,
observed—and here’s the biggest thing I learned:
Your nervous system is basically your inner control freak
and drama queen rolled into one.
Let’s break it down in real talk—no science jargon, just things that actually make sense.
What Is the Nervous System?
It’s your body’s communication highway. Think of it like your internal messaging app
—it decides whether you’re chill or in full-on panic mode.
The part we care most about? The autonomic nervous system, which has two major players:
- Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) → Fight, flight, freeze, fawn. It’s like that friend who overreacts and yells when someone cuts you off in traffic.
- Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) → Rest, digest, and heal. This one’s your spa-day bestie. It kicks in when you feel safe, cozy, and calm.
Why Should You Care?
Because when your nervous system is dysregulated, everything feels like a threat.
You overthink, panic, shut down, snap at people… basically, you’re not living your best life.
But when it’s regulated? You’re grounded, clear-headed, emotionally balanced. You respond instead of react. You feel like you again.
How to Regulate It (AKA: Get Your Spa Mode On)
Here’s what actually works:
- Breathwork → Long, slow exhales. Try 4 in, 6 out. Boom, calm.
- Cold exposure → Splash cold water on your face or take a brisk shower. Your body gets the memo: “We’re safe and present.”
- Movement → Walk. Stretch. Shake it out. It physically discharges stress.
- Touch → Hug yourself, cuddle a pet, or use a weighted blanket.
- Grounding → Put your feet on the earth. Hug a tree. Get weird. It works.
- Vagus nerve love → Humming, singing, gargling. Try humming for two minutes and feel your nervous system soften.
Why It Dysregulates in the First Place
Your nervous system is sensitive as hell. Like, “Why-did-you-look-at-me-that-way?” sensitive. And dysregulation happens when it gets stuck in survival mode—often from experiences that taught it the world isn’t safe.
Here’s what messes it up:
- Trauma Big “T” trauma (abuse, accidents) or smaller “t” (emotional neglect, instability). Even subtle or repeated stressors can teach your body to stay on alert.
- Chronic Stress Deadlines, bills, notifications, news cycles, toxic relationships—modern life is a stress buffet. And your system forgets how to power down.
- Lack of Safety If you grew up in chaos, unpredictability, or emotional suppression, your nervous system learned to live on edge.
- Emotional Suppression When we bottle up our feelings, the body holds on. Unprocessed emotions = stored tension.
- Overstimulating Environments Noise, clutter, poor sleep, bright lights—these aren’t just annoying, they silently wear down your sense of ease.
- Poor Boundaries Saying yes when you mean no? People-pleasing? That’s slow-burn nervous system damage.
Dysregulation isn’t your fault. It’s your body trying to protect you. But once you know what’s happening, you can teach it safety again.
What Dysregulation Really Does
It doesn’t just make you “a little stressed.” It can hijack your entire life.
Here’s how it wreaks quiet havoc:
- Emotional Whiplash One moment calm, the next crying in the grocery store over oat milk. Mood swings, anxiety, irritation—your body’s screaming for safety.
- Overthinking Becomes Your Default Setting You can’t stop replaying a weird comment from three days ago? That’s your system scanning for danger.
- Wired or Wiped You’re either in zombie mode or a jittery mess. Rest doesn’t feel restful because your body never fully exits fight-or-flight.
- Relationship Struggles You avoid intimacy, sabotage peace, or chase connection from a place of fear. Vulnerability = danger when your body doesn’t feel safe.
- Mysterious Health Issues Digestive problems, hormonal imbalances, pain, insomnia. Often, no doctor can “find the cause”—because the root is nervous system dysregulation.
- Self-Sabotage Every time you’re about to level up—boom. Fear kicks in. You freeze, scroll, procrastinate. Growth feels unsafe to a body stuck in survival mode.
What Regulation Can Do for You
When you learn to regulate your nervous system, you reclaim your life. You feel grounded, resilient, capable.
You trust yourself again. You don’t react—you respond.
So ask yourself:
When do I feel most “on edge”? Most overwhelmed?
That’s where your nervous system is calling for care.
Why Didn’t Anyone Teach Us This?
When I finally learned what the nervous system really does, I thought:
Why were we forced to memorize the capital of Mali but never taught how to calm our own damn nervous system?!
Emotional regulation should be a core subject.
Can you imagine a world where kids learned:
- How to breathe through anxiety
- That emotions are messages, not enemies
- When they need rest—not guilt
We’d all have fewer therapy bills and fewer midnight spirals.
The Nervous System Daily Reset Ritual
If your nervous system is throwing drama like a reality TV star right now, try this daily reset.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about reminding your body it’s safe.
1. Morning: Ground Yourself (5–10 min)
- Upon waking, place your hand on your chest or belly.
- Breathe in for 4, out for 6.
- Say: “I am safe in this moment.”
2. During the Day: Move + Pause
- Stretch. Walk. Dance. (Even if your cat’s judging.)
- Use box breathing if you're spiraling: In 4, hold 4, out 4, hold 4.
3. Discharge Stress
- Don’t stew—move.
- Shake your arms and legs like a wet dog. Looks silly. Works like magic.
- Did you know animals literally shake after trauma to release stress hormones? We're mammals too. It works for us.
4. Evening Wind-Down (20 min max)
- Ditch screens. Light a candle.
- Journal: What made me feel unsafe today? What brought me calm?
- Hum or sigh to activate your vagus nerve.
5. Sensory Grounding (Anytime)
- Smell: lavender, mint, eucalyptus.
- Sound: calming music, rain sounds.
- Touch: soft blanket, cozy hoodie, hugging a pillow like it owes you rent.
You don’t have to fix it all in a day. You don’t need to live in spa-mode 24/7.
But your nervous system deserves your love, your curiosity, and your care.
It’s not broken. It’s just trying to protect you.
Now it’s time to teach it: We’re safe now. You can rest.
Which part of this speaks to you the most?
Let’s connect the dots—together.
Xoxo
Urszula
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