I always had a feeling that there must be more to life than going to school, working, cooking, and cleaning. But this is what my mom always did, and I thought that this was what I was supposed to do. I believed that life was designed like that and the only difference between people was social status. Our family didn’t hold any special status, and I thought of myself as ugly, too short, too fat. I didn't like myself at all.
I started to feel uncomfortable in my life and sensed that something was missing. I didn’t want to copy my parents' life; I wanted something different. It took me a long time to understand that we get bound by our parents' ideas of who we are supposed to be. We get programmed by teachers, church leaders, and television stars whose points of view sink into our minds. We lose our identity when we agree to follow someone else's vision. I did this, which led me to make horrible decisions. I cried out for help, love, and attention. I was looking for happiness outside of myself and couldn't find it.
Growing up in Eastern Europe had a big impact on my belief system. I didn’t feel like I had a voice. Then my family and I immigrated to Canada. We had more freedom, but I didn’t speak English at all. It was frustrating, and I felt worthless and lost. I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. That emotional roller coaster was killing me slowly. I didn’t know who I was or what I was doing here on planet Earth.
I was living my life in misery, thinking that I was born into the wrong story. On top of that, health problems and menopausal symptoms started to show up. I was sore, exhausted, hot, and uncomfortable. I didn't know what to do to make it better. Sounds familiar?
For years, I couldn't find the way back to being myself again, but I knew in my heart that it was the only way to regain peace, happiness, and health. We have to follow our hearts and desires to feel happy and satisfied with our lives. After hundreds of books, webinars, and courses with holistic teachers and coaches, I realized that I could write my own story. I could choose the details of my story; I just had to rewrite my programming.
Was it easy? No, not at all, but it was so satisfying to be born again with a new blueprint, and it is always a work in progress. It is never done because life is not constant. When I removed some of the beliefs that I got from my upbringing and started to love my magnificent body and myself as a whole, I finally started living my life and enjoying the journey.
My personal self-care program and self-love, complete acceptance of who I am, were critical to gaining confidence, being courageous, strong, and truly living a life of freedom.
Now I am writing my fairy tale story, and I take total responsibility for it. Owning my story and loving myself through that process is the bravest thing I did.
If you are looking for inspiration, come hang out with me! I look forward to sharing the journey with you, and I would LOVE to hear about your journey or your questions!
You can message me on social media or email me anytime!
xoxo
Urszula
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