For far too long, I have been part of the ‘want to please’ crowd, always jumping in to help, listen, and do whatever I could for others. My days were a blur of commitments—work, family obligations, volunteering, and endless hours spent listening to and solving others' problems. It wasn't until I faced my exhaustion head-on that I realized my lack of self-care, boundaries, and a deep-seated need to please others.

Self-care is so Necessary for Everybody
It’s funny how we grow up; “no” is one of the first words we learn, but as adults, saying it becomes surprisingly hard. This difficulty often comes from a deep-seated fear of letting people down or not being liked. Many of us turn into adults with an absolute fear or inability to say no.





Are You a People Pleaser?
If you’re unsure whether this applies to you, ask yourself a few questions:
  • Are you so busy you can’t enjoy your hobbies?
  • Do you feel guilty when you’re just relaxing?
  • Do you do things out of obligation rather than desire?
  • If you’re nodding along, it’s time to admit you might have a problem with saying no.

The Problem with Saying Yes Too Much
  • Saying yes too much can leave you feeling drained and unhappy. If your schedule is packed with 
  • things you didn’t really want to do, you’ll miss out on what truly matters to you.
  • Why do we find ourselves saying yes when we shouldn’t? Sometimes it’s because we like feeling 
  • needed or we worry no one else will step up. Or maybe it’s just because we want to be liked or fear missing out.

Rethinking Your Reasons for Saying Yes
Many of us say yes for reasons that, on reflection, aren’t good enough. Being flattered, wanting to be liked, fearing disappointment—these aren’t reasons to overextend ourselves.
Remember, if you don’t make your goals and desires a priority, you’ll end up living according to someone else's plans. Define what’s important to you and stick to commitments that align with your values.

The Real Reason We Can’t Say No
Deep down, people-pleasing is about seeking approval and acceptance. This need can lead us to put others’ wants above our own, but it’s not a healthy way to live.

How to Shift Your Mindset
Maybe we should stop being so nice and just be kind?
It’s time to stop equating being nice with being a doormat. You can be kind and considerate without sacrificing your own needs. Saying no doesn’t mean you’re a bad person; it means you’re putting your own well-being first.

Tips for Saying No
  • Take Your Time: Don’t feel pressured to answer on the spot.
  • Be Direct: You don’t need to offer a lengthy explanation.
  • Avoid Apologies: Saying no doesn’t require an apology.
Making the Choice
You have the power to change your life’s direction. Will you continue letting others’ needs dictate your time, or will you start living for yourself? Journaling, meditation, and other self-reflection practices can help you understand your motives and make it easier to embrace saying no.
Through personal experience, I’ve learned that prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries not only reduced my exhaustion but enriched my life immensely. While some relationships may change or even end as a result, the freedom and satisfaction gained are immeasurable.
I’m curious about your journey. Have you faced similar challenges? What strategies have worked for you in saying no and prioritizing your well-being? Share your thoughts below.

Xoxo
Urszula




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I've always felt there must be more to life than just going to school, working, cooking, and cleaning. 
Growing up, this was my mother’s routine, and for a long time, I thought it was mine to follow as well. I believed life was predetermined—shaped by social status and the expectations of those around us. Our family didn’t hold any special status, and I struggled with feelings of inadequacy. I thought of myself as ugly, too short, too heavy—frankly, I didn't like myself much at all.

But as I grew older, I began to feel a growing discomfort. I knew deep down that I wanted something different from life, something more. It took me years to understand that we are often shaped by others' expectations—parents, teachers, society—and that we can lose our true identity when we conform to someone else's vision of who we should be. I fell into that trap, and it led to poor decisions and a deep yearning for love, attention, and happiness. But no matter how hard I searched, I couldn’t find it outside of myself.

Growing up in Eastern Europe had a profound effect on my belief system. I didn’t feel like I had a voice, and when my family immigrated to Canada, that feeling intensified. I didn’t speak English, and the frustration of not being able to express myself made me feel even more lost and isolated. I struggled to belong, feeling like I didn’t fit in anywhere, and that emotional rollercoaster was slowly breaking me down. I had no idea who I was or what my purpose was on this planet.

To make matters worse, as I entered menopause, my health started to deteriorate. I felt sore, exhausted, uncomfortable, and trapped in a body that wasn’t listening to me. I was desperate for relief. Does any of this sound familiar?

For years, I struggled to reconnect with my true self, but I never gave up. I knew in my heart that the key to peace, happiness, and health was finding and following my own path. After countless books, webinars, and guidance from holistic teachers and coaches, I finally realized something powerful: I could rewrite my own story. I wasn’t stuck with the old programming I had absorbed—I could change the narrative.

Was it easy? Absolutely not. But the journey was worth every step. Rebuilding myself from the inside out, letting go of limiting beliefs, and embracing my body—just as it is—allowed me to finally live a life of joy and fulfillment. I’m still a work in progress, but that’s part of the beauty of life: it’s always evolving.
Through self-care, self-love, and total acceptance of who I am, I gained the confidence and courage to live a life of true freedom. Now, I am the author of my own fairy tale, fully owning my story and loving myself along the way. It’s the bravest thing I’ve ever done.

If you’re looking for inspiration or simply someone to share your journey with, let’s connect! I would love to hear your story, answer your questions, or just chat. Feel free to message me on social media or email me anytime—I’d love to hear from you!

xoxo

Urszula

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